I love black thongs
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
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