wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
