i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I need to sanitize my soul.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
