Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
