Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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