my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
