I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Randomize
