Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
