Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
