you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
