Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Randomize
