Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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