I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
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