oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
