Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
operation have a gay friend backfired
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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