One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize
