i think my tv is drunk
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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