I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
