Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
