We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Randomize
