I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
it hurts more in the daytime
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Randomize
