Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Randomize
