**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
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