it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
