he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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