Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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