i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
