Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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