I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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