guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
