I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
