that's an acceptable place to lick
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
