Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Send help, water and tortillas.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
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