47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I party with great urgency now.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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