Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I have already put on my inside pants.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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