five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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