pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
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