girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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