Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
