oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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