Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Randomize