I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
