Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
im having a threesome with these popsicles
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
