Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
