This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
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