he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Randomize
