Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
