so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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