I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
