Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
He told me they were just razor bumps!
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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