I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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