You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
