Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I just gift wrapped bread.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
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