i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
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