To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
